Wolfish Musings celebrates and other reasons to cry

The Wolf is celebrating his 2 year blogiversary. He's a good blogger and a good man (I assume, since he calls his wife 'dear') so best wishes to the Wolf from over here! The reason that I like his blog is because it's information based. His content is informative and interesting instead of the usual non-stop editorializing that so many blogs engage in (myself included). Which isn't to say that a good opinion or original take on an important issue isn't interesting, but it's tedious when that's all there is. Last night my normally classy and articulate husband provided me with this nugget of wisdom that summed up his opinion of blogs: "Opinions are like butts- everyone's got 'em, but they stink." (Thanks dear.) Sorry to take the analogy so far Wolf, but you're one of the few bloggers whos, um blog, doesn't stink. So cheers to that!

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This all reminds me that I recently passed my 1 year blogiversary. It all started a year ago, here. Alot's changed since then. The biggest change for me is that I used to be funny and now I can't for the life of me figure out what it is I want to say. Does that make sense? I mean, read this or this or even this silly tidbit... I was funny darn it, or at least I was having a good time. Now I'm mostly ticked off or bored so I don't write at all. Hmmm... maybe that's why I wasn't so keen on celebrating my blogiversary.

The other revelation is that while I used to think it was a big deal to have many readers, (a la Sally Fields- "you like me, you really like me") and while I did at one time have many more readers than I do now, I'm beginning to realize that you reading me can't possibly be more interesting than me writing for me. My primary motivation in writing is to let ideas out and more importantly, to procrastinate doing laundry. I can't expect anyone but myself to appreciate that. So now I blog so scarcely that the few people who do read my blog are other bloggers who want to see if I've said anything about them. (Hey guys, you're the best, keep coming back.)

The other bummer is that I'm no longer anonymous. Well, I haven't actually printed my name, but too many readers know who I am. I can no longer pretend to be the silly ignoramus that I used to be. I also can't tell the weird and hilarious tales that I once told, of family, friends and work, because now they're real people. This isn't fun to read if not perceived as fiction. In fact, it isn't fun to write if not produced as fiction (even though it's all true). On the other hand, I should be really glad I never said anything embarrassing or defamatory now that my identity is known. [Attention new bloggers: there is no such thing as true anonymity- act accordingly.]

Before I totally depress you, I should let it be known that some of this existential angst is due to some major life overhauls that I just went through. For one, I left my job. Yeah, the job that I bet my entire future career on. I left because of the most annoying and petty reasons, but I had to leave, and now I feel like a total loser. Don't worry, I found another job I'll be starting after pesach so I'm not in trouble, but it isn't in my field, it isn't interesting, it isn't anything I can learn from and it's a total compromise on my dreams (though it pays much more, as selling your soul to the corporate giant usually does). I wasn't fired, and I didn't leave on bad terms, but for some reason I just feel like a completely and total loser. Oh, and then there's a whole bunch of other stuff, but I'm not anonymous anymore so I've got to stay mum. [Time to start a new blog with a new pseudonym where I can actually vent, eh?]

Now that I've got your rapt attention, let me mention that I thought the purim podcast was fun. Jameel turns out not to be some crazy ayrab but probably an ex-Flatbush guy. Whaddya know! R'Gil Student's voice surprised me- I expected it to have a much lower Rabbinic range (I also get surprised with the pitch on my voice every time I hear the answering machine message). Holy Hyrax and wife are funny! Hmmm... the whole shpeil was cute.

In better news, abc.com airs full episodes of Ugly Betty online. What better way to spend an unemployed afternoon than watching Ugly Betty and gorging on ice cream and taco chips (all true). I should have listened to the Rabbis who outlawed the internet, because now that almost every show can be watched in full online, I can have a TV at home without "having a TV," if you know what I mean (how sinister), and I specifically don't want that. You gotta give it to the Rabbis for consistency at least- they know a time waster when they see one.

One year down and who knows how many to go. But the journey's fun and always better in good company. So mucho gracias to all. And finally [in hysterically manic voice] "I hope you like me, I hope you really like me," SOB SOB SOB. [I wish I could find a video for that Sally Fields Oscar clip. It's too much, really!]